AMOR, COSTUMBRE Y DOLOR

El camino de la vida es muy accidentado y siempre defiendo que:

“Debemos tomar las cosas como son, sin mezclar sentimientos”. La mujer nació dotada de grandes cualidades, intuición y sentido común. Capacidades que nos permiten saber reconocer plenamente, si en realidad estamos enamoradas de nuestra pareja, o sólo seguimos con ella por costumbre, o por miedo a la soledad y al sufrimiento.

Es muy obvio y evidente, que en el amor se pueden observar y sentir miles de manifestaciones. Pero es importante e innegable que cada manifestación, se debe consagrar a su bendito lugar, para no engañarnos a nosotras mismas y por ende a quien está a nuestro lado. Podemos “aparentemente” asegurar y hasta jurar, que amamos mucho al esposo, al novio, al amante, al amigo, pero demostrarlo… definitivamente “es otro cosa”.

Se puede estar con una persona por amor, por placer, y también por dolor. Veamos ésto, es muy importante: Una pareja de novios por ejemplo. Se casan muy enamorados, creyendo que su amor será eterno, convencidos de que con el matrimonio les llegará la felicidad garantizada. Pero al transcurrir de los días, los meses y los años, se les va acabando el amor, la atracción, el deseo por estar con su cónyuge. Ya no hay tal amor, ni interés, ni deseo, ni pasión por estar siempre con su pareja y empiezan los problemas: “Es que se puso gorda”, “es que se volvió exigente”, “es que es una histérica”, “es que no me atiende”, “es que no me cumple como mujer”, “es que siempre está ocupada”, “es que siempre está cansada”, “es que no le doy gusto en nada”, etcétera y obviamente “me voy a buscar a otra” ¿Qué pasó con el amor? ¿Dónde quedaron aquellos sentimientos tan lindos? ¿a dónde fue a parar la promesa de amarse y respetarse hasta que la muerte los separe?

Desapareció tal amor, ya no hay sentimientos lindos, se les olvidó la promesa de amarse eternamente y complementarse en todo. La vida dio un giro de 180°, ahora sólo son gritos, reclamos, sátiras palabras hirientes, golpes físicos, violencia y acoso psicológico. RESULTADO: “Alejamiento y desamparo emocional”. Ante tal circunstancia que nosotras mismas generamos, algunas mujeres se atreven a solicitar inmediatamente el divorcio, otras más fuentes y aguantadoras o cómodas, prefieren quedarse hasta el final bajo el mismo techo, aún sin seguir amando a su compañero como en antaño. Los motivos pueden ser muchos:

Temor a la separación, miedo a represalias, miedo a ser golpeadas, miedo al qué dirán, cómo lo tomará la familia, la sociedad y hasta los hijos, que en éste caso se vuelven cadenas que duelen más allá de la piel. Y nos volvemos cobardes, preferimos quedarnos a besar el látigo que nos golpea. Preferimos ignorar o pasar por alto tantos detalles importantes que van haciendo de nuestra vida y nuestro matrimonio una verdadera farsa, un teatro, una comedia, y una batalla campal en la que sabemos quién será el perdedor, obviamente, es el actor de ésta obra dramática en que convertimos a aquél lindo sentimiento que decía llamarse AMOR. Pasa el tiempo y ya no nos atrevemos a dar marcha atrás, nos sentimos incapaces para tomar grandes decisiones, nos callamos, nos aguantamos, y terminamos perdonándole todo a nuestro compañero de vida: “Es que no puedo dejarlo por mis hijos”, “es que…¿qué dirá la gente?” “es que…¿a dónde me voy a ir a vivir?”, “es que…¿qué voy a hacer sin él?”…Aprendimos a depender tanto de su compañía, a apegarnos tanto a nuestro compañero, que al pobre amor lo convertimos en una costumbre, en un hábito, en un vicio, y en un error que lógicamente nos acarrea mucho dolor, porque no nos hace felices, ni podemos hacer felices ni a nuestro compañero, ni a nuestros hijos, ni a nuestra familia, ni a nadie. Es tan grande el apego al marido, a la casa, a los muebles, a las cosas que nos rodean que…¡Vaya por Dios…qué excusas, y qué manera tan cómoda de engañarnos a nosotras mismas!, como si aquel hombre hubiera nacido con nosotras, como si aquel señor significara todo en nuestro mundo y fuera de él, ya no hubiese nada ni nadie a nuestro alrededor.

GROSO ERROR: Se les acabó el amor, y ahí ya no tienen nada que hacer juntos, ya que el amor como el respeto, son la base, son el cimiento principal para que la pareja funcione como tal y el hogar se salve. Pero un hogar sostenido por un solo pilar, tarde o temprano se vendrá abajo irremediablemente con todo y todos, derrumbándose estrepitosamente. Mejor es tomar las cosas como son, sin mezclar sentimientos, atrevernos a salvar del ahogado, aunque sea el sombrero. Agarrar al toro por los cuernos y atrevernos a decir: ¡¡YA BASTA!!, me equivoqué y es okay, pero tengo derecho a decir: ¡NO!. Tengo derecho de volver a empezar.

Cuando nacimos, no traíamos encima ni un triste alfiler, y cuando nos vayamos, tampoco nos vamos a llevar nada encima. ¿Entonces para qué apegarnos tanto a las personas, y a las cosas de éste mundo? Si ya no amas ni te aman, no hagas de tu vida una morada fría, sólo una costumbre que no te hace feliz, ni te permite hacer felices a tus compañeros de vida, no defiendas esa costumbre, no te aferres a nada ni a nadie por apego, no te vistas de hábitos mecanicistas y costumbres…¡¡TIENES DERECHO A DECIR NO!!, o serás esclava de tu costumbre por siempre. Te harás adicta a tu propia esclavitud y a tu dolor. ¡¡ERES MUJER!!… ¡¡MUCHA MUJER!!… y no te olvides por favor que en ésta vida, tú representas al amor, y es precisamente el amor, lo único que vale la pena salvar en ésta vida.

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